As a Mexican-American, I naturally gravitate towards wellness issues that focus on people of color. Inclusivity is becoming more than just a buzzword, and honestly, it’s nice to finally be invited to the party.
In lieu of spouting off statistics about the effects of depression and anxiety on people of color, I want to explore a problem with mental health that goes unnoticed.
Belonging.
Being seen.
Although there are layers of barriers that people of color face in relation to mental illness (inadequate healthcare coverage, citizenship, poverty, taboo subject in your home), having a feeling of being unwanted or unseen can be damaging to one’s core.
You see belonging relates to fairness.
Fairness is what our kids gripe about in their classrooms. Fairness is missing in our board rooms, where the majority of upper management are Caucasian males. Abused women and mothers want fairness in courtrooms for restraining orders and custody agreements. (Don’t ask me how many times I have seen the court give the kids to an abusive father because he earns more money).
When you’re treated unfairly and go “unseen” you develop a sense that you don’t belong. For minorities, every incidence of being passed over for a job, harassed by cops, having nasty glares from sales associates or pre-judgments about your intelligence builds layers of “I don’t belong” messages.
Imagine adding on years of these messages with a newly diagnosed mental illness.
For anyone with mental illness you may wonder, who will believe me? Who will dismiss your illness and claim you have to “suck it up?” How do you talk about anxiety and depression with elder family members who survived a dangerous migration, escaping a war torn country or extreme poverty?
Even when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia I wondered how I would be judged? How can I complain about being tired when I have friends who are running non-stop with kids, career, mortgages and large families? And how do I describe fibromyalgia as more than being “tired?”
And as popular culture focuses again on the mindset behind suicidal ideations, many suicide survivors would admit that their thoughts cannot be trusted with loved ones. You can have the greatest family in the world but suicide is not a topic you can bring up comfortably without people shoving questions and doctors down your throat. So if you feel suicidal, where can you feel like you belong?
Luckily, social media is providing groups and websites chock full of resources, hotlines and chats that are opening up discussions about all these sensitive topics.
My wish? In this expansive web of social connectivity, I want people struggling with painful symptoms to find a safe spot where they know they belong, and will be accepted.
And my continued passion with this blog and future projects, is to open up the door for people of color to have these conversations and begin the healing process.
Resources:
Talkspace – Online Therapy
Buddy Project: Project that uplifts young people with mental illness and pairs them with supportive friends. They frequently share Twitter threads full of resources (playlists, affirmations, etc).
The Focus On You podcast: Yes, I have a podcast now! I dig deeper into the topics I write about on this blog! I’m on Anchor, iTunes and Google Play!
Affirm podcast: Podcast for women of color created by a mental health therapist.
To Write Love On Her Arms: Non-profit devoted to finding help for people dealing with suicide, self-harm and depression.
Tessera Collective: Online community and empowerment for girls and women of color.
PsychCentral: Mental health social network overseen by mental health professionals. Fabulous resource for ALL topics related to psychology.
Psychology Today: Online directory of licensed family, marriage, mental health, addictions and trauma therapists. Plug in your zip code or city and find a therapist tailored to your needs.
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
Trevor Project Crisis Line (LGBTQ): 1-866-488-7386
