The Focus On You

Self-Care Is A Lifestyle

Tag: therapy (page 2 of 4)

The Hidden Benefits Of Change

There’s no way to avoid all the political news. We made it to Election Week and everyone’s nerves are frayed.

Party lines appear deeply divided and it almost feels like people are exposing their fangs with every Tweet. I advise everyone to take a step back and remove themselves from these conversations for this brief minute.

What is everyone so pissed off about?


Although that was President Obama’s platform in 2008, every Presidential candidate throws their name in the hat on the basis of change.

As an older millennial/Gen Xer (can you be both?) I see how different generations are struggling against change.

What do we gain from change?

-We learn about new cultures instead of always being afraid of different people.

-Understanding new cultures can make you more tolerant of others’ differences. Differences are what make us human.

-Change means life gets easier. Do you remember how long it took to send a text on a Razor phone?

-Change means we save time because of advances in technology.

-Change helps us to learn more about ourselves, our strengths and hidden talents.

-Change helps us grow.


In this blog I write about making changes that will remind you of WHY you are a priority. Why are you great? Why are you worth ______?

Why isn’t everyone recognizing their potential? Maybe it’s tied to people’s fear of change. When it comes to change in leadership, I understand why it’s scary. But how are you leading yourself? How are you leading yourself into wellness, greatness or badassery? Click To Tweet

I’m afraid of change too. But I’m afraid of the sudden changes that shock my heart and sense of safety (violence, death, sudden illness). Once I put these larger ideas into perspective, making an adjustment in my diet or budgeting seems petty.

My challenge to you is to evaluate your perspective on change: globally and in your life. In addiction recovery, therapists ask recovering addicts to learn to accept life on life’s terms.

Are you accepting life on life’s terms? 

Resource: This is the Serenity Prayer, which has helped many addicts and people in mental health treatment in recovery.


No More Secrets: Healing From Domestic Violence- Book Review

This writer received this book in exchange for this review. All opinions are my own. 


“The more we tell our story, the more it loses its power.” Click To Tweet

I have been working with domestic abuse survivors for 4 years. There is power in their story. The quote mentioned above is a message I have shared with survivors when they begin trauma treatment.

I recently reviewed the book entitled “No More Secrets: Healing From Domestic Violence.” This story is told from the viewpoint of six domestic abuse survivors who used narrative storytelling to heal from their trauma. Thanks to their group and support system at The Second Step in Newton, Massachusetts, Allison, Becca, Cecilia, Donna-Marie, Olive and Selma received counseling, but also built a sisterhood within themselves. “They encouraged each other, they challenged each other, they’ve encouraged each other to be true to themselves, and in so doing they have discovered the profound healing power of connection.”


What makes this book unique?

  1. This book doesn’t just focus on red flags and traumatic stories. Part I did include chapters that told graphic stories of each woman’s background and experiences. But Part II and III shared solutions, the lessons they learned about safety, self-worth, lessons they learned from each other and parenting, to name a few.
  2. I appreciated the personal quotes that were woven between the chapters. And these are not clichés from professionals. These messages are from their voice and reflect how far they’ve truly come.
  3. I appreciate the informational blocks within each chapter that describe the dynamics of domestic violence, red flag behavior and boundary setting. For someone who is just learning about working with this population, these blocks of info help solidify the seriousness of intimate partner violence.

Who is this book for?

Social workers, nurses, medical professionals, domestic violence advocates, law enforcement personnel, probation officers, parents of teens, adult survivors of childhood abuse, graduate students who are entering the mental health field, addiction therapists, psychology students, legal advocates or paralegals, school personnel and university staff.


This story made me feel like I was within their support circle. I felt like I could hear the pain and fear in their voices as they recounted their personal experiences.

As a therapist for survivors, I recommend this book especially for support staff. Having an empathetic ear and understanding of their experience is important. Trauma informed care is becoming a standard for any helping professional and this book weaves in education AND intimate experiences.

If you would like to learn more about Second Step’s program, please find them here.

If you would like to pick up this book for yourself or someone you know, please click below!

No More Secrets: Healing From Domestic Violence

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