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Self-Care Is A Lifestyle

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They’re Not Just Words

Trigger warning: emotional abuse, childhood abuse and bullying are mentioned

I usually don’t write poetry on my blog but this beauty came to me out of the blue. Inspired by recent political events and domestic violence awareness month, I felt compelled to share this with you.

They’re Not Just Words

They’re just words he says.

Words that bully a 7-year-old who can’t understand what he or she did wrong.

They’re just words that deafen gentle ears.

Words that make you believe you’re stupid and ugly.

They’re just words that leave wounds no one can see.

Bruises heal faster than poisonous words.

They’re just words he says.

Words that can be held against you in court.

Words that you have to be careful saying at work so you don’t get fired.

Words that we don’t want our kids to repeat.

I say they’re just words too.

Words that can make a difference.

They’re words that rebuild self-esteem because they’re cloaked in love.

They’re words that I never believed before spoken to me by a therapist.

Words like, “You didn’t deserve this” and “One Day At A Time.”

I didn’t know the power of words.

Gentle words spoken by therapists, teachers and social workers.

Words that parents never told us but a stranger can make us believe they’re true.

They’re just words that I speak in my head to ward off anxiety and the Devil.

Biblical words, meditative words, words in other tongues.

My words have power too, I tell him.

My words build bridges.

My words take me higher.

Where do your words take you?


If you would like to learn more about domestic violence awareness or red flags in relationships, please refer to my previous blog posts:

Have You Seen These Red Flags In Your Relationships?

5 Elements Of A Healthy Relationship

Stop Being Stingy With Your Wisdom!

Imagine if your children’s teachers quit teaching because your child still can’t figure out algebra.



Imagine if your doctor gave you attitude and stopped treating you because you still haven’t brought your blood pressure down.

As a therapist, I work as a guide, not a fix-it. I provide self-care and therapeutic interventions to clients in need. Although some of them are mandated to attend therapy, it’s really up to them to make changes in their life. I have worked with clients FOR MONTHS and they still may feel afraid to set boundaries, stay away from drugs or start prioritizing their needs. My role doesn’t change just because my clients don’t do what I want. Helping others is about THEM, not ME.

A teacher’s job is to teach, reinforce the lesson and provide encouragement. The additional work needs to be done at home.

A coach’s job is to help their athlete improve their game, notice their weak areas and provide encouragement. The athlete can choose to do additional training outside of practice, which will help their performance.

A therapist’s job is to guide their client, provide helpful interventions and provide encouragement. The client needs to incorporate these lessons on their own at home.

See a theme here?

If you are in a helping role think about a time you were on the opposite side of the table. How have you benefitted from someone else’s help?

Or do you act like the students or audience you complain about?

In the blogging business, I have benefitted TREMENDOUSLY from the lessons at conferences and messages from guest speakers. They have taken the time to travel AND present at events in an effort to teach helpful tips for budding entrepeneurs.

A guest speaker or panelist cannot control the outcome of their event. Was one person inspired? Were two audience members actually taking notes? Their job may be done. If audience members don’t follow through on lessons learned that’s their responsibility, not the speaker’s.

If you’re burnt out on coaching, guiding, encouraging or teaching then the problem is YOU and not your audience. Take a break, start saying no, release expectations and incorporate some self-care. IT’S OK TO TAKE A BREAK!

You can't give what you don't have. Click To Tweet

Just don’t leave your role forever. The world is full of eager minds who would benefit from your wisdom!!

Do you think you set too many expectations on the people you help out? 

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Can We Get Awareness For Mental Health Professionals?

Validation: Why Do We Need It?

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