The Focus On You

Self-Care Is A Lifestyle

Tag: success (page 1 of 2)

Why Your Emotional Intelligence Gets In The Way Of Your Success

This post contains affiliate links.

Lately I keep hearing “emotional intelligence”, or EQ,  thrown into conversations about career and the workplace. After doing some quick research I was surprised to see how much this relates to why I may not be succeeding in my career.

Ironically, I have been spending the last few months digging into my career goals. Aside from blogging I have dual licenses to provide mental health and addictions treatment. In my field, having licensure is like gold. And adding additional licenses makes you more marketable.

I now realize that I have spent the last few years being “too comfortable.” Although I attend continuing education on a monthly basis I haven’t necessarily grown in my profession. I have never held a management position because I love working one-on-one with clients but this can hurt me in the long run.  I have spent more energy in the last 2 years growing as a writer and with my personal brand. This is important to me but it isn’t my bread and butter.

After learning about EQ and re-assessing where I want to grow professionally, I realize where my weaknesses are. As I’m applying for a new therapy license, I see how little I have done “on paper.” I can gas myself up all day but it’s true that what we show on paper is what pays the bills. Even after receiving a degree we still have to hustle for positions and upward growth in our careers.

What does emotional intelligence have to do with success in general?

Managing Difficult Situations – If you want to move into a leadership position at work or in volunteer roles,  examine how well you handle stress. Do you blow up or do you hide in the corner? Some of our immediate and comfortable reactions may be stifling our growth. Have you ever told your kids to stand up to a bully? This is somewhat similar. Children learn to exercise their assertiveness muscle by using it. Adults aren’t any different. See how you can stretch out of your comfort zone and step up to help!

Clearly Expressing Yourself I sometimes struggle with this one because have a bad habit of fumbling my words. In my field, dealing with people in crisis, I have to remember to simplify my message and/or directions. People in trauma may not process “wordy” instructions. Expressing yourself diplomatically and clearly is important in upper management and if you work with people outside your company. You don’t want your boss or client (if you work freelance) to have a bad impression about you because you can’t get your message across. Re-read your emails and rehearse important messages before big meetings if you feel unsure. No one has to know that you practiced with a script.

People Want To Work With You If you have a strong EQ, you are aware of your own and others’ emotions. You’re not barking demands to someone who’s apparently overwhelmed or having a personal crisis. Have you ever worked with someone who “doesn’t see you?” Some circles would argue that male colleagues are usually less “aware” of emotional cues their co-workers give off. Healthy emotional intelligence means you relate well to others personally and professionally and are willing to collaborate. These people avoid power struggles and take criticism well. I think I excel in this area and have improved on receiving criticism (not that I ever blew up or anything). Regardless of whether we’re an educator, self-employed, professional or a Lyft driver, don’t we all want to get along with others and bring in more business?

If you’re struggling in the workplace AND the dating scene, dig a little further and see how emotional intelligence relates to the dating world.

Are you unapproachable?

Are you carrying the weight of work into social circles?

Are you being fake while dating because you don’t know jack about your emotions? Do you push people away because you can’t regulate your anger or bad attitude?

Want to assess your EQ? Take this free emotional intelligence quiz! I enjoyed this quick audit and it helped me understand what areas I need to work on.

The purpose of this post is to help you re-evaluate where you may be slipping. If we don’t know what we’re doing “wrong” how can we change? Click To Tweet Honestly, I don’t know how much constructive feedback managers will give you regarding emotional intelligence. But if you can pinpoint your weaknesses and improve them, it can increase your chances for success, and better yet, long-term growth.

Further resources: – A wealth of resources on career related topics. Assessments, worksheets, etc.



Part 2: Productivity Hacks from Successful Entrepeneurs


In last week’s post I featured interviews of two successful entrepeneurs who shared their must-have tips for staying productive in their businesses.

In this 2-part series I am focusing on productivity hacks of successful entrepeneurs. I work with clients in my day job who struggle with trauma, mental health issues and difficulty dealing with stress. Many of them also struggle with lack of motivation, even when their mental health is stabilized.

Regardless of whether you are a budding entrepreneur or you struggle with daily tasks, these productivity hacks are pretty easy to add to your agenda!


In case you missed last week’s post, here are the interview questions:

  1. Can you give us a glimpse into what keeps you busy throughout your day?
  2. What are your favorite productivity hacks? Is there a hack you couldn’t live without?
  3. What is your favorite way to unwind?



The first interview is from Erin, who is a 30-something working mom of an energetic 8-year-old daughter. She works 50+ hours a week in a director position, while working on her doctorate with the love and support of her husband.

According to Erin, her days vary. “Some days are spent running a 50 bed crisis triage center that provides intervention and stabilization services to those suffering from substance use disorders and acute mental illness. Other days are spent in the community, representing my agency at city council meetings, grant presentations, board meetings, etc.”

Writing a daily and weekly to-do list is a key essential in maintaining focus and organization for this busy director. She prioritizes her tasks and goes from there. “I try really hard to only check my emails 3-4 times throughout the day. If I checked it more often then I would be answering emails all day long.”

Another hack she uses is the one-touch method; “I only touch a paper or task one time. I either complete it, file it, delegate it, or trash it. If it’s a document that needs additional follow-up then I set a time frame on when that follow up will be completed.”

Erin also relies heavily on her Outlook calendar and task list. The task lists allow her to assign a task to an employee and delegate it; but it also serves as a consistent reminder of what she needs to get done.

“The hack that I absolutely cannot live without is my white board in my office. I use it everyday to jot notes, goals, map out strategic plans, draw funny faces, etc. It helps keep my ideas fresh and present in my face so I continue to think about the future and the growth I want to see for myself, my staff, and my agency.” Erin also says that coffee and laughter are essential!!

Erin says she  plays as hard as she works but she doesn’t mean partying and staying out late. To quote her correctly, “Hell I’m too old for that!”

Erin plays hard when it comes to planning family adventures and vacations. She plays volleyball and softball every week, tries a new baking recipe on Sundays and barbecues with friends and family.

“I unwind by connecting with the people most important and precious in my life and celebrating those relationships. Sometimes that celebration is simply watching my daughter and nephew play Star Wars on the Kinect, like they are Hans Solo and Princess Leia. And sometimes that celebration is going off-roading in our new Razor. No matter what I’m doing I work really hard at staying present in the moment, whatever that moment may be.”


Our second entrepreneur is Vincenzo Landino, the founder and CEO of Landino Marketing, LLC, and hosts #MCEOtalk, a LIVE event and twitter chat.

Landino Marketing, LLC is a social media and content marketing consultancy specializing in brand correspondence and live-streaming video.

Vincenzo is proud to work with such brands as Applebee’s, Casual Friday’s, SocialFresh, BroadSuite Media Group, Social Media Day San Diego, MillennialCEO and Zoomph as an influencer, podcaster, engagement specialist, show host and blogger.

Vincenzo Landino is the founder of HUBCAP Wallingford, a collaborative workspace and small business incubator in the heart of Connecticut.


What keeps Vincenzo busy daily?

 His 2-year-old miniature pinscher and his 7 clients which range from hospitality industry to food/beverage and even professional services! Judging from his bio, you can see what keeps him busy!!
According to Vincenzo, “I get up pretty early every day which allows me to get work done before the majority of activity starts flowing in. I try to send emails, respond to requests and catch up on news in the morning before the day gets too hectic. Dealing with clients on the West coast is nice because I have until 11:00am before I begin business with them.”

Vincenzo loves coffee, but it’s become more or less of a habit, rather than access to superpowers! He recently began exercising in the morning as well, which he noticed has helped his creativity!

His favorite ways to unwind are playing with his pup, Khaleesi, watching movies, cooking or golfing.

The common thread I noticed in these 4 amazing entrepeneurs is their ability to keep it simple:

  • coffee, notepads, iPhone, Outlook calendars, white boards, daily lists, one-touch method, waking up early, prioritizing, exercise.

Their responsibilities are FAR from simple and I truly admire their tenacity and drive.

Let me know how you will take these hacks and incorporate them into your plan for success! 

Special thank you to Kelly, Kathy, Erin and Vincenzo for agreeing to be featured in this post! 

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