The Focus On You

*Self-Care & Lifestyle Blog*

Tag: stress (page 1 of 2)

How To Make Your Downtime Nourishing Instead Of Stressful.

As I read my newsfeeds of New Years resolutions and affirmations, I see a common theme: “I want to take better care of myself/my health/my sanity.

While you might wonder where the hell you’ll fit time in for self-improvement, let’s look at your 1st enemy: your schedule.

You can’t fit 3 cars into a 2-car garage so naturally, something has to go! Let’s see what you can subtract so you can make room for improvements!

What can you subtract?

-Mindless scrolling through outdated info on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter. (when is the last time you purged these newsfeeds?)

– Excessive online shopping.

– Watching the news for hours.

– Watching trash TV.

– Using your phone at the gym

– Binge watching your shows every weekend

– Responsibilities that seem to always seem to fall on your lap because NO ONE ELSE SIGNS UP (think of your kids’ school, coaching, kids’ activities, projects at work).

-Family responsibilities that need to be delegated. Why are you doing everything?

– Overcompensating at home by trying to be perfect. 7 days of 3 course meals, spotless sink every night, etc. Obsessive behaviors take up WAY TOO MUCH TIME!

What can you add that would be nourishing?

  1. First, decide what nourishing means to you. Do you need to refresh your soul, spirit, health, sleep patterns, breathing patterns? Click To Tweet
  2. Nourishing your soul or spirit? Add these: spiritual music, instrumental meditative music, traditional comfort recipes, redecorating the house with crystals, plants and soothing elements (See my post on ways to increase the peace in your environment)
  3. Include healthier drinks, snacks, meals into your daily routine. Appoint an accountability buddy at work to encourage you to have healthy lunches. Don’t carry your bank card to work. Shop for work lunches on Sunday.
  4. Add in comfort meals that remind you of home, a beloved family member or a favorite season.
  5. Buy warmer or higher thread count pillowcases, sheets or a new quilt. Flip your mattress or re-decorate your bedroom. Add new colors, comforting pictures or décor.
  6. Improve the air quality where you sleep and work. Use plants that remove toxins from the air. Use aromatherapy, misters, humidifiers and/or change air filters.
  7. Nourish your mind with podcasts, a fun fiction book, a YA book series, coloring books, board games, book clubs, groups that encourage creativity or intellectual conversation.

As many people incorporate fitness into their new year routines, their schedules are the 1st thing that need to be adjusted. If the word “sacrifice” scares you, change your language to make your adjustments more comfortable. You are making new CHOICES (not sacrifices) in order to support your goals. Click To Tweet

One thing I love about the new year is a chance to freshen up my surroundings. Even though I love the holidays more than Buddy the Elf, I welcome the new environment and opportunity to dust off my shoulders.

Self-care is about nourishment.

A new year is the perfect time to incorporate nourishment and fresh beginnings.

What are you willing to subtract in your life?

Part 2: Coping Skills For Family Stress & Burnout

This post contains an affiliate link.

Last week’s post highlighted 3 coping skills (Taking Care Of Your Body, Setting Boundaries and Getting Organized)  that can assist you if you’re struggling with family stress or burnout (or both)!

These next 3 coping skills dig a little deeper.

Create A Buffer – If you’re feeling burnout from work, put something in between you and the source of stress. What do your lunch breaks look like? Are you eating at your desk? BAD! Change that please. Labor laws entitle us to these fabulous time buffers. Use it or lose it!

I have been lucky in my previous jobs that my bosses were understanding of my workload. I was able to safely express to them when I needed a break, a person to relieve me for one day or needed a day just to focus on paperwork. Sometimes those “paperwork only” days were the solution to my stress.

If you need a buffer from a stressful family situation, pinpoint who you can safely talk to. Text or call that person and let them know you’ll need them to listen, let you scream or just be there in general. It’s hard to turn down a close confidant who asks you, “Hey can I just vent for a second?” Buffers are also boundaries.

Maybe you need to skip a certain family event or gathering for the sake of your sanity. But if you’re unable to skip an event, have a buffer person handy so you can text them in case of emergency!

If you are only attending functions to please others then you are choosing resentment. Click To Tweet

Soothing Talk – Write down what you would say to a loved one in a similar situation. It’s funny how 99% of the time we don’t take our own advice. Have you ever helped someone in a similar situation? What did you tell them? Listen to yourself!

If your self-talk is becoming harsh or over critical, speak to yourself like you would talk to a child. No curse words. Just reassurance.

Refer to my post on self-talk for mental wellness.

Notice The Source – Before you get sucked into criticism or advice, notice who’s telling it to you. In the Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz talks about judgment like its poison. If a person is cruel to you, they spread emotional poison. When we react or plot revenge then we are using their poison within us. It’s similar to “stooping down to their level.”

Also, as you notice the source of criticism, think about that person’s story.

Is there a loss of love in their life?

Has struggle been a mainstay for them?

Are they under immense stress and are lacking in self-care? Although it may be hard to get these answers, remember this: Hurt people hurt people. Click To Tweet

Someone who is hurting from shame, abandonment, insecurities, or whatever, may feel more comfortable passing off that hurt to someone else. Don Miguel Ruiz calls it “misuse of our word.” He says that when you hear a bad opinion and you believe it, you make an agreement with it.

Within these last two posts I have highlighted 6 coping skills to help with burnout or family stress. Changing our thinking patterns, focusing on our needs and actively speaking up for our needs can help minimize these issues.

Be pro-active and get comfortable with these coping skills before you are forced into reactive mode!!

Which coping skills have worked for you in the past? How have you survived burnout? 

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