The Focus On You

Self-Care Is A Lifestyle

Tag: motivation (page 1 of 2)

How To Maintain Your New Year Energy

The end of 2017 was flooded with messages of renewed energy and healthy intentions for a better year. I admit it was a welcomed surprise, especially when social media can be so whiny and depressing. But I know I’m not alone in thinking that this motivation can’t last forever. When I work with therapy clients, as we celebrate any uptick in motivation, I always invite them to examine their recipes for success.

If our successes are so few, or only occur with “New Year” motivation, let’s look at how to spread this healthy energy throughout the year.

Assess Your Confidence

Do you realize how you confident you are? Yes you!

A person is unlikely to set goals or state their desires without having at least bite size confidence. If you got off the struggle bus in December and are left with bite size confidence, even the smallest resolution or goal involves confidence. Being willing to make a change in your life means you believe in your worth. Click To Tweet You believe you deserve better and can DO better.

That confidence translates into energy. All this social media energy about intentions, better boundaries, healthier eating, etc, comes from your self-worth.

Tip: At the end of every month, do a self-check on your confidence levels. Are your self-esteem and energy at the same level? What did you do at the end of December that could help you now?

Read: Are You A Confidence Buster?

Assess Your Barriers

In recovery circles, we caution people about the concept of insanity. “Insanity means doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results.” If your yearly goals fall apart at the same time each year, it’s time to check out your patterns.

If weight loss motivation is strong in the winter and gets weak in the summer, find the barrier.

If you only get motivated in your side hustle when your funds are low, find the barrier.

If your personal boundary wall is only strong when you’re feeling cocky or rude, remember that the wall won’t stay up forever. What’s your barrier?

In 2017 I slipped on a lot of my goals and lost motivation due to multiple distractions. I’ll admit that social media scrolling and stressing (thanks to this government) had me distracted. I didn’t have the awareness to pull away and I lost motivation to finish personal and professional tasks. I realized this mid-year and made better efforts to stop being so opinionated.

In the blogging world, we aim to engage online with others, which helps build our brand. Having opinions doesn’t fatten my pocket. I now have to find the healthy line between being informed and just wasting time.

Assess Your Why

When clients mention trying something different I always ask them, “Why?” Sometimes it sounds like I’m being a jerk but it’s a healthy way of challenging their thinking. Where did they get this idea? Who is encouraging them to do it? Is it in line with their values?

If we don’t know our WHY, then we’re likely to stumble.

If you are feeling energized about your goals, vision board, business planning, write down WHY. Re-visit this WHY when you’re feeling discouraged or you get off track.

As a college graduate, I feel that one of my biggest lessons was patience. Now, this doesn’t mean I’m patient in traffic or waiting in line (that’s a whole other blog post). College students highlight those articles, chug coffee, stay up late and type up endless pages of reports because they’re patient. They know that every hurdle leads to a degree.  For me, my degree meant a higher ceiling. I knew that my degree would open more doors and lead to my desired career.

Every tedious task led to my WHY.

When I started my blog exactly 3 years ago, I took my time in writing posts and monetizing. My long-term goal with blogging is to improve my writing and eventually write books. All the tedious work that comes along with blogging is part of my WHY.

As a new year begins, celebrate your confidence, remind yourself of what you truly value and expect a few bumps in the road. With struggle comes growth. After breakdowns, come breakthroughs. Click To Tweet.

Goals aren’t set in stone. Pivot and adjust as changes occur. Go easy on yourself and remember that being too task-oriented can be draining. Align your WHY with WHO you want to be and you’ll be on the right track! I’m cheering you on!


My Letter To Anyone Feeling Lost Or Stuck

This week’s inspiration comes from the major motion picture, “The Shack.” It’s an inspirational movie based off a best-selling book, which centers on the themes of faith, forgiveness and grief.

This post will share two major messages I took from the movie that can be applied to anyone who’s feeling stuck or lost.

You’re Not Stuck Because You Can’t. You’re Stuck Because You Won’t.

In this era of the “can’t even” complainers, it’s easy to use this as an excuse to avoid something. When people say they feel stuck, are their feet actually cemented in the ground? Think about the difference between “can’t” and “won’t.” Do you know someone who defeated the odds due to disabilities or restrictions in their life? Before I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I enjoyed running. I thought I wouldn’t be able to run a marathon because of my physical weakness. I watched people competing in a local Ironman event and I saw athletes with physical disabilities competing. They may have had prosthetic limbs but they still competed. Technically, I COULD run again. I pushed my limitations into the “I won’t” category and wrote it off. What do you tell your kids when they throw down their homework in frustration? Are you challenging their “I can’t”, with “oh no honey, you MUST!” How does that message apply to you?

What are you avoiding that is causing you to be stuck?

How can you move your “CAN'T” to the “MUST” stage? Click To Tweet

If Anything Matters, Then Everything Matters. Everything You Do Is Important.

In the context of this movie, these messages applied to forgiveness (no spoilers, I promise). One way to reach forgiveness is to continue to do kind deeds. In the midst of hurt and pain, there still has to be something that matters. Click To Tweet One of the characters explained how our simple acts and treasured values still have a place in this world, even when tragedy strikes us or when the world gets ugly.

This message is tough in the midst of the fogs of grief. Our values can get lost during tragedy, illness, major life changes or losses. Instead of telling ourselves or our loved ones, “Well you still have to work despite all this. You still have to be a mom/dad/parent, etc”, let’s share with them how much they still matter. Let’s give them the space to try to figure out their feelings. Figuring out feelings on top of a busy schedule can be overwhelming.

I see this play out with survivors of abuse. They have to move to a safer home, continue to pay bills, feed the kids, take them to school & daycare, make dinner and figure out how to stay safe from their abuser. Their daily routines take on a new level of importance and survival. Routines can overshadow their values, causing them to feel stuck or lost. As a therapist, I thank them for coming to their appointments and being fueled by courage. That hour in my office may be the only time they are recognized for their importance and value in this world.

I have been brought to my knees due to grief 4 times in my life. I could actually add one more if you include my fibromyalgia diagnosis. I’ll never recover from fibro. My body will never be the same. I felt like I mourned the loss of my healthy self.  But whether I mope on the sideline of a triathlon or not, everything I do is important. My values are still the same whether I am exhausted or not.

My values are stronger than my diagnosis.

My values are stronger than my physical pains.

Restricting myself to labels and excuses of “I can’t even” leaves me with what? Is it a cop out from life?

I don’t think two people could watch this movie and leave with the same emotion. Our childhood experiences, history of resentments and current messes are unique. Yet this movie begs the question, “What’s next?”

In the grand scheme of your life, what’s next? Where are your feet? Are they moving or are they cemented? Regardless of where you are standing, everything you do is important.





Older posts

© 2018 The Focus On You

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑

%d bloggers like this: