I’m writing to you from the perspective of someone who survived her 20’s and is teetering close to 40.
As I see some of you on social media, I worry that you are freaking out way too much.
I want to tell you that everything is going to be ok. I can say that because I’m ok. Other friends in my post-millennial club are ok too.
It’s ok that you’re single. I had serious relationships that didn’t last in my 20’s and I’m glad they didn’t work out. Heartbreak sucks but it’s easier to bounce back in this decade. Just don’t tie up your money or precious credit record around a mate. That will take you FOREVER to clean up.
It’s ok to get married in your 30’s. The world won’t slap a “spinster”, “old maid” or “old bachelor” label on you on your 30th birthday. I got married in my mid-30’s and me and my husband had already enjoyed our 20’s and established our careers. Getting married in your 30’s means you’ll have more money for the wedding you want and will hopefully be established in your career. Speaking of career….
It’s ok that you don’t know what you want to do with your life. Everything takes time. That’s why colleges make us waste two years on general education classes so we can hopefully narrow down our major. I changed colleges, cities and majors in undergrad AND grad school!
It’s ok if you didn’t get into the college of your dreams. I damn near fell out when I didn’t get accepted into UC Berkeley’s graduate program. I am SO thankful I finished my Master’s Degree at San Jose State, with less student debt and closer to my family and friends. I changed my major to Counseling, worked as a high school counselor, cemented relationships and the rest is history!
It’s ok if you’re not getting the hang of being an adult. There’s no label or set time when this is supposed to happen. Just pay your bills, have a good work ethic, don’t get hooked on drugs or alcohol and everything should fall into place. I’ve been doing this “adulting” thing for 20 years and I still grumble when my alarm goes off. It is what it is. At least try to enjoy the money you work so hard for. Trust me, you’ll still have questions about life, house plumbing, how long to cook rice and other weird stuff in your late 30’s.
If you don’t believe me, consider this. Anyone over the age of 35 who seems to have their life together made it without Facebook, Pinterest, memes, motivational quotes, books on being a boss, DJ Khaled major keys or Google. I didn’t have Wikipedia in college. There wasn’t a Starbucks on every corner when I was an undergrad. Gas was still expensive and our cell phones didn’t have internet.
Take a deep breath, listen to some Kendrick Lamar like I do every morning and repeat after me, “We gon be alright!”
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