The Focus On You

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Tag: goals (page 2 of 3)

Easy Writing Exercises To Help You Slay The New Year

Is anyone grown enough to remember Mad Libs? Or did I just give away my post-millennial age??

If you are a fan of journaling, Mad Libs or creating your own story, I want to share end of the year writing exercises that will prepare you for 2017!

Have fun!!

Fill out the blanks:

Bravo! I made it through ___________. With this hidden strength (___________) I persevered. (Name one person or group of people) ___________ encouraged me and taught me a lot about myself. Now I am willing to _________ on my own. My personal hero(es) ____________ has/have these qualities I admire: _________________. With the lessons I learned this year I can say I admire these qualities about myself now: ___________. I now feel __________ about upcoming goals. I plan on accomplishing _______  in the next __________. When I think about giving up I will call ________ instead. If I find myself avoiding _________, then I know I’m headed for trouble.


One of the changes I will make next year is ____________. Small steps that can help me reach this are _____________________. I have these strengths (____________________) that will help me make these changes. In order to add something positive to my life I need to subtract this: ____________________. If these changes present a struggle I will call ____________ to hold me accountable. I need to lean on my supports through the good and bad. I’m thankful for ________________ who is always encouraging. I will stay in contact with them by ___________ at least once a _______. Having smart people on my team makes me feel  _____________. Speaking of feelings, these are the feelings I am hoping to achieve my making this change: _____________________________. These are the feelings I plan on leaving behind: _____________________. My first step will be ____________ starting ____________.


Journal questions:

*Next month, I don’t want to feel this: ____________.

3 things I need to do differently to avoid this feeling:


* These barriers have distanced me from my personal goals: ________________. What support do I need to knock these barriers down? (Sidenote: Barriers are normal. We all face them.)


* What can I no longer afford to avoid? (my health, finances, emergency savings, career change). List them all and write down solutions for each of them. Create monthly or weekly adjustments to your schedule to support these solutions.


*2 theme songs that support my goals for 2017 are ___________. (Personally, you know I have like 4 or 5 songs for next year…..heehee)


* 2 “extras” I can do without next year are____________________. What have these “extras” cost me in 2016?

I will be here in 2017 to help you celebrate your goals and encourage you to make yourself and your dreams a priority. Cheers to another year and Happy 2 Year Blogaversary to me!!! I appreciate your continued support!

3 Ways You Jeopardize Your Future

Whether or not you’re considering a New Year resolution, you may be making silent deals with yourself about your future. Or you may be cursing yourself after doing a personal review. We are all our own worst critic. How we handle this is the difference between success and stagnation.

If you have been thinking about 2017 and beyond, please be smart before making lofty goals or falling into patterns that don’t work.

Here are 3 ways I recognize people jeopardizing their future:

  1. Being Too Extra:

Have you ever made a goal or resolution and then pitched a fit when you didn’t stick to it? What does the conversation with yourself sound like? This is what I see many people saying on social media: “I’m too dumb.” “I’m too this and too that.” “Ugh I can’t even.” “This gives me my whole life.” “What is this life?” See a pattern here? You’re catastrophizing your situation. It seems to be a popular way of complaining, dealing (or not dealing) and not feeling alone as an “adult.” Honestly though, it’s too extra. It’s extreme. This leads me to number 2.

  1. Being Unrealistic:

Extremes are like a seesaw. Each side is imbalanced. In order to reach the other end you need large forces of energy to shift your weight. This is why “balance” seems so far fetched. People want their lives to be “perfect” but its unrealistic. They don’t even know what the middle of that seesaw looks like. They figure that a change means “doing the complete opposite of what I’m doing now.” This is called “all or nothing” thinking and it isn’t safe. Being realistic about a budget, a career goal, weight loss will help us break down our goals into do-able tasks. Being unrealistic leads to unmanageability. Honestly, living a “balanced” life really means “managing everything well.” Click To Tweet

  1. Settling For Small:

This may sound like the opposite of being unrealistic but I swear it’s not! Have you ever heard the quote, “If your dreams don’t scare you, they’re not big enough.” Are you jeopardizing your future by minimizing your strengths? It’s easy to stay comfortable. Shoot, I’d love to stay comfortable and never grow but where does that leave me in 5 years? As a therapist I have to keep up to date on client trends. When I was an addictions therapist I saw a demand for mental health care. I started my internship in mental health counseling after the 2008 recession and I never stopped learning. If you don’t know what your next move will be, look at the trends in our society. Is health care a stable industry? Technology? Expand your horizons and stop limiting yourself.

When people share their doubts with me about goals or plans, I almost always point out faulty thinking. Cognitive errors are the reason why cognitive behavioral therapy is a popular form of talk therapy. Many of our faults or weaknesses can be linked to these thinking traps. And maybe your past resolutions haven’t worked because of these traps?

Regardless of when you set new goals, keep these thinking errors in mind. Stop settling, stretch your wings, keep realistic goals, use a coach to help you stay accountable and stop being so extra. Less complaints and more action!!

Do you have patterns of faulty thinking?

Recommended reading: Do You Live In Extremes? 

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