The Focus On You

Self-Care Is A Lifestyle

Tag: focus (page 2 of 2)

When It’s Okay To Not Focus On You

The theme of this blog and many of its posts highlight elements of self-care. If you shudder at those words you’re probably a people pleaser or you have a small child stuck to your leg. If you have the latter, we all understand.

This post serves as a little pep talk. If you are in a rut, this may help. If your life is on a smooth, favorable path, this will help as well.

Pep Talk Time

Louise Hay says that failure to love one’s self can be at the root of most physical ailments. She wrote a life-changing book called You Can Heal Your Life (highly recommended reading) and discussed how lack of self-love or self-care causes deep strain to our physical and emotional psyche.

When you don't love yourself, you don't treat yourself with respect. - Dr. Joe Rubino Click To Tweet

So, where’s the pep talk?

Sometimes self-care involves getting out of our heads. You may need to focus LESS on your gripes, doubts, fears, weaknesses…you get the picture.  Help someone out, call up a friend or family member who you haven’t spoken to. If we’re in a rut and that’s all we think about, it’s possibly the ONLY thing we talk about as well. Are you burning out your friends, family or significant other with your problems? There’s a difference between leaning on supportive ears and overwhelming them, thus drawing them into your drama.

When we get out of our heads, we are able to get out of our own way. WE may be the barrier keeping us in a rut. Volunteer somewhere, help out at your child’s school, walk someone’s dog. Just get out for a while. And if you’re still in a funk, check out one of my favorite books, Peaks and Valleys by Spencer Johnson, M.D. The book is written like a fable with  powerful messages to help you re-evaluate the pitfalls in life. You can click on the picture below for more details!

If life is balanced and smooth for you right now, BRAVO!!!!!!!!!

You deserve special attention for yourself, your hard work, overcoming a challenge or whatever circumstance that led you to this peak in your life. Borrowing from the Peaks and Valley message, the way you honor yourself during a successful period will determine how you manage a pitfall in the future.

Take a minute to do an inventory on your self-esteem and motivation.

 When situations work in your favor, does that raise your self-esteem? What do outside forces have to do with esteem of self? If you COME from a place of self-worth aren’t outside forces just an external factor that have no power to make or break you?

Now I’m not trying to burst any bubbles. When I personally witness people in their peaks I can tell when they are about to fall. We are all subject to ignorance during high times in our life. We think life will continue to be grand and then act surprised when we fall. So, during successful periods in your life, stay humble and take stock of what’s working for you.

If you would like access to more pep-talks, affirmations and informational goodies, please join my VIP email list!

Improve Your Focus By Doing Less

I chose the word “focus” as part of this blog title because I feel the word has been misunderstood.

Focus does not mean “do 5 things at once.” When you tell a child to “focus” on their homework, are you expecting them to do their work PLUS 3 or 4 other things? A person who is multi-tasking by doing 5 different things is only giving 20% of their attention to each task.

Numbers don’t lie. In a world of multi-tasking, focusing on less seems impossible.

I am asking you to consider doing less.

 Yes. You read that correctly.

Many years ago I read  A Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, for personal and professional reasons. The line that struck me immediately was DO LESS. 2 simple words.

Did this book just ask me to DO LESS?

Hold on now. I am NOT promoting laziness or living a stagnant life. If you are overcommitted (topic of a future post), it is time to re-examine your schedule.

What are your values?

Is your schedule in line with your values?

I understand that family and career can be demanding. If children’s activities fill up most of your weekly schedule, where is the time for YOU?

If your career has pushed you from 40 hours of work per week to 60 hours, when do you re-charge?

If you value spirituality how are you making time to honor this? Journaling? Reading scriptures? Attending services once a week that you have trouble paying attention to?

Before I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I was the overcommitted person. I wasn’t married, worked two jobs, trained to run a marathon and travelled when I wanted. No, I am not complaining. A mixture of overdoing it and trauma broke my body down. Fibromyalgia forced me to DO LESS, years after reading those lines in Rick Warren’s book. Now that I am forced to focus on my physical and emotional health, my schedule is based more around my values.

Take a look at your weekly schedule. It’s ok to have busy days but are there chunks of time devoted to you? If this is your ME time right now, I appreciate being invited into your day.




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