The Focus On You

*Self-Care & Lifestyle Blog*

Tag: coaches

Stop Being Stingy With Your Wisdom!

Imagine if your children’s teachers quit teaching because your child still can’t figure out algebra.



Imagine if your doctor gave you attitude and stopped treating you because you still haven’t brought your blood pressure down.

As a therapist, I work as a guide, not a fix-it. I provide self-care and therapeutic interventions to clients in need. Although some of them are mandated to attend therapy, it’s really up to them to make changes in their life. I have worked with clients FOR MONTHS and they still may feel afraid to set boundaries, stay away from drugs or start prioritizing their needs. My role doesn’t change just because my clients don’t do what I want. Helping others is about THEM, not ME.

A teacher’s job is to teach, reinforce the lesson and provide encouragement. The additional work needs to be done at home.

A coach’s job is to help their athlete improve their game, notice their weak areas and provide encouragement. The athlete can choose to do additional training outside of practice, which will help their performance.

A therapist’s job is to guide their client, provide helpful interventions and provide encouragement. The client needs to incorporate these lessons on their own at home.

See a theme here?

If you are in a helping role think about a time you were on the opposite side of the table. How have you benefitted from someone else’s help?

Or do you act like the students or audience you complain about?

In the blogging business, I have benefitted TREMENDOUSLY from the lessons at conferences and messages from guest speakers. They have taken the time to travel AND present at events in an effort to teach helpful tips for budding entrepeneurs.

A guest speaker or panelist cannot control the outcome of their event. Was one person inspired? Were two audience members actually taking notes? Their job may be done. If audience members don’t follow through on lessons learned that’s their responsibility, not the speaker’s.

If you’re burnt out on coaching, guiding, encouraging or teaching then the problem is YOU and not your audience. Take a break, start saying no, release expectations and incorporate some self-care. IT’S OK TO TAKE A BREAK!

You can't give what you don't have. Click To Tweet

Just don’t leave your role forever. The world is full of eager minds who would benefit from your wisdom!!

Do you think you set too many expectations on the people you help out? 

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Could You Benefit From A Coach or Mentor?

As I peruse through sample books on my tablet I see a popular theme popping up in business books. Mindset, mindset, mindset. At the same time I am seeing images of sports figures being celebrated for their triumphs. I’ll discuss the connection a little later.

  • Is mindset the same as attitude? Does your mindset need an adjustment?
  • Is our “mindset” a product of our culture or a product of our circumstances? Have our challenges in the past affected this?
  • If you struggle with mental health issues (depression, anxiety, etc) how difficult is it to pull yourself out of your “mindset?”

This is where I throw in the importance of mentors, coaches and therapists. How instrumental are coaches when it comes to championship sports? Horse trainers were celebrating the Triple Crown win alongside the horse owner and jockey. NBA coaches are highly scrutinized during the championship series and their team relies on their judgment and expertise throughout the game. Women’s World Cup started this weekend and I’m guessing that we will soon be hearing inspiring stories about the challenges faced by Team USA.

Mind you, I’ve never been an athlete but a therapist is a type of coach. When my clients have stabilized emotionally, I am able to coach them through life processes. I can be a cheerleader and a voice of reason (although the voice of reason pops up more than not).

As I have developed business connections through social media, I have encountered life coaches, career coaches and mentors. I realize that we all have a similar goal – helping YOU recognize your full potential!  

The difference between you improving your “mindset” and an athlete who improves his/her game, is that your competition isn’t standing in your way.

Unless you count yourself as your competition.

My challenge to you is to seek out the coach or mentor that will shake up your current mindset. Click To Tweet

And speak to yourself as you would speak to a child who you’re coaching through a new experience. That conversation wouldn’t sound the same as your inner dialogue would it???


Have you been contemplating therapy, life coaching, career coaching or seeking out a mentor? What’s stopping you?

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