The Focus On You

*Motivational & Self-Care Blog*

Tag: books

Part 2: Coping Skills For Family Stress & Burnout

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Last week’s post highlighted 3 coping skills (Taking Care Of Your Body, Setting Boundaries and Getting Organized)  that can assist you if you’re struggling with family stress or burnout (or both)!

These next 3 coping skills dig a little deeper.

Create A Buffer – If you’re feeling burnout from work, put something in between you and the source of stress. What do your lunch breaks look like? Are you eating at your desk? BAD! Change that please. Labor laws entitle us to these fabulous time buffers. Use it or lose it!

I have been lucky in my previous jobs that my bosses were understanding of my workload. I was able to safely express to them when I needed a break, a person to relieve me for one day or needed a day just to focus on paperwork. Sometimes those “paperwork only” days were the solution to my stress.

If you need a buffer from a stressful family situation, pinpoint who you can safely talk to. Text or call that person and let them know you’ll need them to listen, let you scream or just be there in general. It’s hard to turn down a close confidant who asks you, “Hey can I just vent for a second?” Buffers are also boundaries.

Maybe you need to skip a certain family event or gathering for the sake of your sanity. But if you’re unable to skip an event, have a buffer person handy so you can text them in case of emergency!

If you are only attending functions to please others then you are choosing resentment. Click To Tweet

Soothing Talk – Write down what you would say to a loved one in a similar situation. It’s funny how 99% of the time we don’t take our own advice. Have you ever helped someone in a similar situation? What did you tell them? Listen to yourself!

If your self-talk is becoming harsh or over critical, speak to yourself like you would talk to a child. No curse words. Just reassurance.

Refer to my post on self-talk for mental wellness.

Notice The Source – Before you get sucked into criticism or advice, notice who’s telling it to you. In the Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz talks about judgment like its poison. If a person is cruel to you, they spread emotional poison. When we react or plot revenge then we are using their poison within us. It’s similar to “stooping down to their level.”

Also, as you notice the source of criticism, think about that person’s story.

Is there a loss of love in their life?

Has struggle been a mainstay for them?

Are they under immense stress and are lacking in self-care? Although it may be hard to get these answers, remember this: Hurt people hurt people. Click To Tweet

Someone who is hurting from shame, abandonment, insecurities, or whatever, may feel more comfortable passing off that hurt to someone else. Don Miguel Ruiz calls it “misuse of our word.” He says that when you hear a bad opinion and you believe it, you make an agreement with it.

Within these last two posts I have highlighted 6 coping skills to help with burnout or family stress. Changing our thinking patterns, focusing on our needs and actively speaking up for our needs can help minimize these issues.

Be pro-active and get comfortable with these coping skills before you are forced into reactive mode!!

Which coping skills have worked for you in the past? How have you survived burnout? 

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How To Start Planning For The Summer

 

Is anyone else excited/surprised that it’s almost June?? If you’re a teacher or student it may take everything to hold in your excitement! Parents may have mixed emotions: thankful for a break from school activities and homework OR anxious about how to entertain their little ones the next few months.

 

Here are some thoughts I’m considering as we hit the mid-year mark.

 

  • As a new blogger I’m always concerned about my brand. This would be a good time to take stock of inventory: usefulness of apps, business cards, other blogging tools. In addition, am I satisfied with the image my brand provides? Are my readers satisfied?
  • Whether or not you did your Spring Cleaning in the last few months, it would be a good time to take another look at your house/environment. Is my yard appealing to me? Is it ready for summer guests? Do I need a new look in my bedroom or bathroom? If summer guests are heading your way it would be smart to look at new decorations or essentials (pillows, cool linens) that will keep your guests comfortable! Check out my Pinterest boards for grilling ideas and patio inspiration!
  • Have I fully pulled my winter wardrobe from my closet? I admittedly still have a bag of scarves without a home. I use under-the-bed bags and clear closet boxes from The Container Store to hide off season goodies. I also just transferred my cold weather work pants to my “winter” closet in order to make room for my summer skirts and capris. Mind you, I live in Las Vegas, which means 2 things: It’s crazy hot in the summer and our homes are large enough to have extra closet space!
  • Last but not least, if the long sunny days will provide extra leisure time, have you thought about a summer book selection? I just finished Thrive by Arianna Huffington and am currently reading The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor. I admit that I get stuck on self-help books and really need to read more for pleasure.  Although this isn’t a “pleasure” book, I am tempted to read The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. Apparently it normalizes organizing and actually makes it sound appealing! What are you looking forward to reading this summer?

 

Whether you plan on travelling, lounging at home or making a few small trips this summer, it would be wise to take inventory in our business life, home environment and on our self-care list!

 

Having something to look forward to makes our hard work all worth it!!

 

Did I miss anything in this list? What changes will you make to help get your summer started??!!

 

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