The Focus On You

Self-Care Is A Lifestyle

Tag: books (page 1 of 2)

How To Shift From Extremes To Sufficiency

This isn’t going to be a post about work/life balance.

This post will ask you to look at where you may be “off. “

Uncentered.
Living in extremes.
Living in a deficit. 

Let’s analyze a few things first.

I want you to imagine that you are trying to maintain your lifestyle, routine and responsibilities by standing on one leg. How hard would it be to manage your life PLUS self-care if you’re worried about falling over? How tired would you be at the end of your day? Every day would be consumed with trying not to fall. After a few falls you may decide to just stay at home. You would jump out of the race and say “forget it.”

If you feel that you hit life’s speed bumps harder than other people, this may be why.

I have worked with clients who live in extremes. Follow along and see if you relate. Some people do TOO MUCH for others. They always say yes, when they mean no. They get burnt out on helping others and feel taken advantage of. Maybe you set your standards too high and when they can’t be met, you take it personally. You jump into a relationship or job at 110 mph when no one asked you to. Yes, it’s your own fault if you start too strong, but maturity means that you can readjust the standards and keep pushing forward.

It’s possible to be doing TOO much at work. Depending on your career, its advisable to take a seat for a little while. Trying to impress others all the time can be draining. This is a case of the extremes.

Another extreme is being so burnt out that you shut down from life completely. You isolate, let phone calls go to voicemail and work hard at avoiding personal contact. In your head you feel its justified, especially if you’re like the person above who is burnt out. On the outside we can all see that its dangerous. I’m not saying that a weekend hibernation is dangerous but if you slow down to 25 mph every weekend and then have to speed up to 90 mph to catch up again, that’s a problem.

Living in extremes is dangerous. We never know what tomorrow brings. I’m not saying that we need to live our lives idly and wait for crises. If your lifestyle leaves you standing on one leg, what would it look like to walk on both legs and be more “balanced?”

Is the middle ground considered “sufficiency?” It’s not the extremes of survival or abundance. It’s being balanced, humble and living sufficiently.

How do you get there?

  • Look at your weekly or daily schedule and toss a few items.

  • What activities or rituals do you NEED AND WANT in your life? Have you neglected your health? Do you want to miss your friends or family? Fit them in. 

  • Who is draining you of energy? Fix that. Now. Who can help?

  • Has spirituality taken a back seat in your life? How easy would it be to make that a priority again? Remember that spirituality doesn’t always mean attending a place of worship. Connecting with your spirit could mean disconnecting from spiritual vampires or feeding your thoughts with nourishing writings, messages or sounds. How could you make that happen?

  • Start your morning with a gratitude practice (morning prayer, journaling, mindful exercise, grateful social media posts). Stop spending your morning complaining. You’re tired. We get it.

After reading “The Miracle Morning” by Hal Elrod, I learned how changing one’s morning routine is about more than waking up early. As a busy entrepeneur, speaker and author, he doesn’t start his day at 110 mph. He spends his mornings with a few moments of silence, repeating helpful affirmations, visualizing what he wants to attain, exercising and reading. This may sound like a whole day’s worth of activities but he re-energizes his day by “boosting his potential” with these activities. Plus, he describes how he can combine silence, exercise and affirmations all within one activity- running.

Although the lessons from the book and the ideas mentioned above may feel like you’re doing “more”, it’s wise to pull out what’s NOT working.  How can you replace it with events, thoughts, people and routines that plant both feet on the ground?

How can you start living a more “sufficient” life this week?

Book recommendation:

 

 

3 Resources You Need To Battle Self-Doubt

After a rough week with my inner critic, I had to switch up my routine in order to get back on my feet.

Between a fibromyalgia flare and creative obstacles, I realized that I didn’t have a strong enough emergency kit for moments of self-doubt.

Depression, career obstacles or emotional blocks can really sidetrack your plans. When you have a busy schedule and daily career responsibilities, every day counts. Every day is lost money or productivity. Missing a week of work can make it seem like you’ve been absent a month.

Here are 3 resources I recommend when self-doubt becomes a burden:

Pinterest: Yes, Pinterest is still a thing. Here’s some search ideas to help you find solutions.

Low energy?– Look up juice recipes (adding ginger to smoothies is a good pick me up), yoga poses, book recommendations, hygenic solutions (scrubbing with Himalayan salt crystals, etc).

Creative blocks?– Research articles on this topic, find crystals that help remove blocks, affirming mantras, and quotes from other creatives who battled the same obstacles.

Does your self-care suck? – Pinterest is a wonderful search engine in regards to health and wellness. I have found numerous articles on self-care here. Plus, sometimes our self-care routines get stale and we need to switch it up!

I also recommend following my Pinterest page where I include boards for career inspiration, self-care, Psychology, wellness and fitness.

Podcasts: Although I’m not a regular listener to podcasts, I knew I needed to try something new to bust out of my funk. Tip: If you’re in a funk, ask yourself what you need. Do you need to read, move, watch something motivational, revisit an old book, dump ideas on paper or talk with a mentor? DO THAT! I couldn’t dig into a book but needed to hear a snack sized solution.

Recommendations:

Jen Carrington’s Make It Happen Podcast: Episode – 5 Reminders For Big Hearted Creatives Who Are Feeling The Business Blues.

Kyshira Moffett’s Podcast: The Bombshell Diaries

Books & Videos:

Peaks and Valleys by Spencer Johnson, M.D. – A quick story about a young man who seeks guidance from a wise man about the highs and lows of life.

Rising Strong by Brene Brown – This story is literally about picking yourself up when you fall flat on your face.

Finding Inner Courage by Mark Nepo – A cancer survivor and brilliant poet compiled short stories to bring peace and courage. This book talks TO you, not AT you.

Marie Forleo TV – Marie’s inspirational videos are not just for entrepeneurs. I subscribe to her weekly emails just for her insightful videos. She has interesting interviews with psychologists, authors, spiritual gurus, holistic doctors and successful entrepeneurs, to name a few.

 

 

 

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