The Focus On You

Self-Care Is A Lifestyle

Tag: affirmations

How To Shift From Extremes To Sufficiency

This isn’t going to be a post about work/life balance.

This post will ask you to look at where you may be “off. “

Uncentered.
Living in extremes.
Living in a deficit. 

Let’s analyze a few things first.

I want you to imagine that you are trying to maintain your lifestyle, routine and responsibilities by standing on one leg. How hard would it be to manage your life PLUS self-care if you’re worried about falling over? How tired would you be at the end of your day? Every day would be consumed with trying not to fall. After a few falls you may decide to just stay at home. You would jump out of the race and say “forget it.”

If you feel that you hit life’s speed bumps harder than other people, this may be why.

I have worked with clients who live in extremes. Follow along and see if you relate. Some people do TOO MUCH for others. They always say yes, when they mean no. They get burnt out on helping others and feel taken advantage of. Maybe you set your standards too high and when they can’t be met, you take it personally. You jump into a relationship or job at 110 mph when no one asked you to. Yes, it’s your own fault if you start too strong, but maturity means that you can readjust the standards and keep pushing forward.

It’s possible to be doing TOO much at work. Depending on your career, its advisable to take a seat for a little while. Trying to impress others all the time can be draining. This is a case of the extremes.

Another extreme is being so burnt out that you shut down from life completely. You isolate, let phone calls go to voicemail and work hard at avoiding personal contact. In your head you feel its justified, especially if you’re like the person above who is burnt out. On the outside we can all see that its dangerous. I’m not saying that a weekend hibernation is dangerous but if you slow down to 25 mph every weekend and then have to speed up to 90 mph to catch up again, that’s a problem.

Living in extremes is dangerous. We never know what tomorrow brings. I’m not saying that we need to live our lives idly and wait for crises. If your lifestyle leaves you standing on one leg, what would it look like to walk on both legs and be more “balanced?”

Is the middle ground considered “sufficiency?” It’s not the extremes of survival or abundance. It’s being balanced, humble and living sufficiently.

How do you get there?

  • Look at your weekly or daily schedule and toss a few items.

  • What activities or rituals do you NEED AND WANT in your life? Have you neglected your health? Do you want to miss your friends or family? Fit them in. 

  • Who is draining you of energy? Fix that. Now. Who can help?

  • Has spirituality taken a back seat in your life? How easy would it be to make that a priority again? Remember that spirituality doesn’t always mean attending a place of worship. Connecting with your spirit could mean disconnecting from spiritual vampires or feeding your thoughts with nourishing writings, messages or sounds. How could you make that happen?

  • Start your morning with a gratitude practice (morning prayer, journaling, mindful exercise, grateful social media posts). Stop spending your morning complaining. You’re tired. We get it.

After reading “The Miracle Morning” by Hal Elrod, I learned how changing one’s morning routine is about more than waking up early. As a busy entrepeneur, speaker and author, he doesn’t start his day at 110 mph. He spends his mornings with a few moments of silence, repeating helpful affirmations, visualizing what he wants to attain, exercising and reading. This may sound like a whole day’s worth of activities but he re-energizes his day by “boosting his potential” with these activities. Plus, he describes how he can combine silence, exercise and affirmations all within one activity- running.

Although the lessons from the book and the ideas mentioned above may feel like you’re doing “more”, it’s wise to pull out what’s NOT working.  How can you replace it with events, thoughts, people and routines that plant both feet on the ground?

How can you start living a more “sufficient” life this week?

Book recommendation:

 

 

15 Petty Affirmations To Uplift Your Soul

Is anyone a fan of petty Tweets or Instagram posts like me?

Sometimes my crazy sense of humor can lighten my mood or distract me from the heaviness of life.

I recently saw a trend on Twitter where people respond to silly statements by saying, “First of all….” In all seriousness, did you know that you can twist petty statements into self-affirming mantras?

It’s easy to have a snappy comeback or to insult ourselves in our head, but why aren’t positive affirmations just as easy?

I compiled a list of petty and non-traditional affirmations to add to your journal, share with your fellow petty friends and to remind yourself that despite our flaws, we’re all worthy deep down inside.

  1. Even though I should be arrested for these messy ass eyebrows, I am worthy of love and attention.
  2. Even though my anxiety keeps me from having fun with my friends, I forgive myself for listening to my needs first.
  3. Although I feel ashamed that I don’t fit into my clothes like I used to, I accept myself as being more than a dress size or pant size.
  4. In spite of the fact that I feel stupid bringing up small talk with strangers, I know I deserve to be where I am today and am proud of myself for going outside of my comfort zone.
  5. Even though I hate feeling lonely, I acknowledge my poor boundaries and maintain a healthy circle of supporters.
  6. Even though my house is a hot mess, I forgive myself for getting off track and am grateful for the comfort of a messy home.
  7. I accept the range of emotions that brew inside me and channel them in healthy ways.
  8. Despite the fact that I am financially irresponsible, I completely forgive myself for the false expectations that I place on money.
  9. In spite of the fact that I didn’t meet my goals, I admit my faults and understand that loving myself is more motivating than shaming myself into isolation.
  10. I notice that I complain too much on social media but today I choose to be hopeful and optimistic. Click To Tweet
  11. I admit that I need to stop shaming others online and change my conversation to more life-affirming and uplifting commentary.
  12. Even though my racing thoughts are terrifying and unsettling, I embrace the peace that sleep brings me every night.
  13. I admit that I act too extra and remind myself that quiet confidence is sexy too.
  14. Despite the fact that I procrastinate, I forgive myself for hiding from the world how badass my dreams are.
  15. It may seem like I’m settling for this life but I believe in my ability to unlock this procrastination and set myself free.

If you are familiar with  the therapeutic technique called Tapping (or EFT),  critical self-talk can be challenged using  the Tapping method. When people verbalize what their inner critic is saying, it sounds kinda crazy! Trust me, I’ve used tapping to deconstruct ugly messages in my head and it’s helped!

Acceptance theory also teaches clients with social anxieties to break down the power behind self-talk. I have worked with clients who healed from social anxiety and later realized how irrational their previous fears were.

Whether you use these petty statements out loud or keep them to yourself, remember that staying hopeful, optimistic and having a sense of humor can only help you in the long run!

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