When I work with clients on self-esteem the 1st lesson I give them is about compassion. According to Brene Brown, when we are compassionate with others we assume that “they are just doing the best they can.” If you can make this wish for others, then make this wish for yourself.
Daily compassion means you replace criticism with compliments. You look at what you deposited into your life, not what was withdrawn.
Inner criticisms are like bags of resentment and every day you fill those bags to a certain level. Brown further states that compassionate people have strong boundaries that keep them away from resentment. My role as a therapist, and here as a self-care blogger, is to inspire you to look at yourself and the world differently. Look in the mirror with compassionate eyes.
What could you possibly give yourself credit for?
- Raising one or more kids
- Being a supportive spouse/partner/girlfriend/boyfriend
- Keeping a job for a year
- Changing careers
- Working hard for that promotion
- Maintaining a household
- Paying your bills each month
- Saving money this past weekend because you know that birthdays, holidays and trips are coming up
- Fulfilling bucket list goals
- Staying clean and sober
- Surviving each day with mental health issues and inadequate doctors and/or meds
- Graduating school or college
- Signing up for classes again
- Achieving one goal this year
- Starting a business and sticking with it
- Obtaining your citizenship
- Asking for help
- Learning to speak up for yourself at work or at home
- Dealing with difficult family members or friends
- Setting boundaries and sticking to them
- Leaving abusive or unhealthy relationships
- Speaking kindly to your kids
- Teaching your children to do better than you did
- Paying down debts for milestone events (wedding, moving, having a child)
- Giving birth and surviving post-partum depression
- Bounced back from a divorce or a painful separation
- Returning to work after a prolonged absence
- Getting out of your comfort zone
- Travelling solo
- Learning what self-care really means and embracing it
- Learning new technology to bond with family members
- Restoring or remodeling your house
- Saving and purchasing a home
- Recovering from surgery or a physical setback
- Dealing with a medical diagnosis the best you can
- Healing from grief and loss
- Forgiving yourself and/or others and moving forward
- Reaching fitness or weight loss goals (ran a marathon, started yoga, etc)
This list could continue but then you might forget all the reasons you just nodded your head.
If you journal and need reason to give thanks, use this list. If you developed a new list in your head after reading this, write it down.
Tell others on social media the reasons you are a warrior. You survived 1, 4 or 10 of the events listed above. Bravo to you!!Replace criticisms with compassion & watch your mood shift. Click To Tweet
If you are on social media, use #thefocusonme and describe why you need to be compassionate with yourself.
Book recommendation: Rising Strong by Brene Brown