The Focus On You

Self-Care Is A Lifestyle

Category: Self-care (page 2 of 21)

3 Signs That Your Routine Is Sabotaging Your Life

Have you ever felt uncomfortable switching up your daily routine?

When I work with clients living with mental illness, setting up a realistic and healthy routine is important. Many parents live by routines to help teach their kids responsibility. Personally, I live and die by the clock. My client sessions are 50 mins long and I even schedule my blog work by the hour.

Productivity experts would vouch for setting up a routine, but let’s look at these routine errors that could be silently sabotaging your life.

Your Routine Doesn’t Include Self-Care

The common complaint I hear as a self-care blogger is, “I don’t have time for self-care.” You don’t have time because you don’t make time. If you automatically shut it down, you have assigned a negative label to it. Did you know that self-care consists of that paid hour lunch you receive? Self-care can occur on your way to work, while you’re in the shower and while you’re doing the normal things you already dread doing. One of my Pinterest boards includes a shower meditation, where you can envision washing off whatever you need to release for that day. On weekends I play music in the shower to signify a shift from the sleepy Monday-Friday showers. If your routine involves eating lunch at your desk, I would suggest taking your lunch elsewhere. You may surprisingly feel refreshed and ready to conquer the 2nd half of your day!

Your Routine Involves Too Much Multi-Tasking

I sometimes amaze myself at how much housework I can tackle all at once. Does it leave me exhausted at the end? Absolutely! I’m not suggesting taking away the multi-tasking but try to place a limit on it. When I feel overwhelmed between errands, housework and my blog schedule I use the Pomodoro technique. This is also a good tip for anyone with chronic pain. I break my tasks into hourly segments. I sit and blog for one hour. Then I take a break by completing housework for 30 min or 1 hour (depending on how my chronic pain is acting). I dread looking at an action list that involves a mix of all 3 responsibilities. When I break these tasks into hour or 30 min. segments, the tasks feel more realistic. Plus, this gives me a break from sitting or cleaning too long. These active breaks also help my creativity and allow me to put my work to sleep for a minute. Is anyone else a fan of the Pomodoro technique?

Your Routine Doesn’t Include The Important People In Your Life

How often do you get to text or chat with your best friends?

When was the last time you visited with family members or friends who are out of town? If our weekly schedules don’t include time for connections, what are we working so hard for? Click To Tweet Do we feel bad on the holidays because we don’t have the money to visit family members? Could we start saving money or vacation time at work for the holiday we really want? Weekly (and sometimes daily) group texts with my best friends in California are a life saver for me. We even have a Snapchat group list so we can send life updates or encouraging messages to each other.

(Recommended reading: Are You A Bad Friend?)

Personal connections can get lost in our daily hustle. Relationships take work. Our supportive people in our life can ground us, distract us from our daily struggles and remind us of our importance in their lives. Spending time with friends or loved ones (without drama or codependency) can help reduce burnout as well. If work/school/career is burning you out, you need that distraction, encouragement, laughter and connection with others.

Our lives can easily get controlled by the necessity to work, make more money and do that next thing. Auto-pilot is dangerous. Maybe your daughter is tired of playing that same sport every year. Who says you have to run that weekend program or coach that team again? If you keep signing up for the same responsibility with a tinge of resentment, that’s telling you something.

Spending quality time with quality people and adding self-care can only bring necessary benefits to your life. They shouldn’t be withdrawing from your valuable time but depositing instead.

Put the control back into your life, replace dreadful activities with elements of self-care and bring back that sense of belonging!

How has your routine sabotaged your life?

3 Ways I Diffuse My Anger

In my 2 years of blogging, this is the first time I feel it’s appropriate to talk about anger. With a new political climate and new year, our anger has been activated in a way we’re unfamiliar with.

I don’t handle my anger well and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I have never directed any anger physically towards anyone and I have no arrest history related to anger and harm. On the contrary, I’m pretty non-confrontational. I get mad at dumb drivers like anyone else but this post isn’t talking about road rage. This is about the side-eye that turns ugly.

The side-eye that poisons your energy.

The side-eye that makes you distrust EVERYONE.

The side-eye that makes you difficult to be around and bleeds into your home.

In the midst of an angry and distrustful society, let’s look at 3 healthy ways I reset my mood. I will also include additional resources at the end!


Thank God for the delete function! How many times have you wrote a post (or text) and furiously deleted it after? GUILTY!! Let me save your reputation, social media footprint and your JOB by asking you to slowly step off social media. Trust me, sometimes my Twitter fingers want to get the best of me. Here’s how you can prevent writing that angry post or comment: email it to yourself. Whether you write it on paper or email yourself, please use this blogger’s favorite tool and EDIT. Write it down and look at it again in 60 minutes. Thank me later.


Did you know that physical movement is healing? Bi-lateral movements that use both sides of your body (walking, boxing, running, stair climbing, basketball) are healing to parts of your brain affected by trauma. Any kind of energy that gets trapped in your body is damaging. Shaking out your hands or doing jumping jacks are a good way to refocus your energy. I hold anger in my shoulders and neck. The downward dog position helps me stretch out those knots. Use loud breaths or sighs while pushing further in this pose. If work is the source of your frustration, get up and move around during your breaks. If you’re lucky enough to have privacy during a conference call, do jumping jacks or squats in your office. Additional tip: Walking my dog does wonders for my spirit. When I disconnect from the indoors and watch my beagle do her cute little strut, I can’t even remember what I was pissed about.





If you follow my antics on Snapchat then you have seen my morning wake up calls. I play a motivating song to get my day going. Mind you, I’m not angry in the morning but I like setting my tone for the day with a song to get me hype. If music helps improve your mood, think about the feeling you DESIRE instead of being angry. If your anger needs to inspire healthy action (making positive changes, standing up for yourself) then choose songs with those messages. If your anger is unhealthy to your spirit or energy find songs or melodies that bring about peace, calm or humility. Stevie Wonder always resets my spiritual thermostat. When I feel anxious or scared I crave classic R&B (think Otis Redding & Sam Cooke). Make sure you have a Spotify or Pandora playlist that you can instantly turn to in case of emergency! Don’t forget instrumental music or sounds of nature to tune out bad vibes! In honor of my word of the year (bravery) I created an Apple Music playlist called “2017 Power List.” What will you call your playlist?

This weekend’s march utilized all of these suggestions above. I moved, I chanted and I somewhat disconnected

Managing your anger in healthy ways doesn’t mean you magically forget what made you angry. Resetting your mood helps you stay grounded so you can think & react clearly. Click To Tweet None of us want to say or do something we’ll regret. If you can’t seem to shake off your anger, seek out professional or spiritual help.

Additional resources:

Grief related anger:

Professional articles on anger for kids and adults:

Healing Through Movement: Getting Back Up After A Broken Heart by Dr. Crista Gambrell

How do you effectively deal with anger??

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