The Focus On You

*Motivational & Self-Care Blog*

Category: Inspiration (page 2 of 19)

3 Reminders I Needed From The We All Grow Summit

I didn’t think I needed to be reminded of the validity of my dreams.

I give myself confidence boosts daily and my confidence was brimming as I drove into Long Beach for the We All Grow Summit. In Year 2 of blogging and Year 2 of being part of this empowering network, I felt like I could walk a little taller.

Nevertheless, I arrived hungry for inspiration. Hungry for confirmation that I am on the right path.

So what kind of reminders did I receive?

  1. Greatness Takes Time– I’m not naïve to the struggles of all the inspiring presenters. I don’t know their full story but I know they sat where I am sitting now. I’m still a pup in this game. The goals I set for this year are similar to dreams that are currently coming true for them. Even if this year’s goal falls flat, I should consider it as a seed. When we plant seeds in our gardens, their beauty and growth take time to bloom. One of the first presenters said it beautifully. She said that when you have years of struggle but finally reach a goal, “It’s like finally picking the fruit of something you planted 3 years ago.” We have to remain patient with the seeds of our dreams. Click To Tweet Spend these patient months and years watering your dreams. Water them. Protect them.
  2. Sigue Adelante (Keep Going)! – Fashion vlogger, Glency Feliz, reminded us to just keep going. We need to stop selling ourselves short and just go out and do it. Pitch those brands. Build that website. Keep being real and quirky with our audience. Personally, I need to keep my eyes off distractions. This doesn’t mean I’ll be giving up my activist ways, but my business could benefit from spending my time better. Most conferences I attend ask bloggers to circle back to Square 1. It’s easy to fall into the trap of shiny new objects and forget our oh-so important to-do lists. Am I guilty of this? Every damn day, if we’re being honest.
  3. Pick Your Passion – I attended a social change seminar with panelists who are dedicated to causes in our community. It can be overwhelming to get disrupted by every battle. Every day can be a new battle, whether in the world or in your life. If you’re undecided about your next move in life, come back to your passions or values. Martin Llorens, fashion, life and inspirational stylist, also spoke to the crowd about waking up our call to action. He asked, “What is your role in your life and in your society?” If you feel unimportant, you’re not. We all have a role. When we tap into that purpose, it’s easier to navigate our lives. Martin told us, “There is no time for doubt or excuses.” What excuses are you making that are driving you away from your passion? Click To Tweet

The beauty of living a life of “focusing on me” allows me to stay humble and aware of what I need. I know what to ask for in this business and I trust the Universe will deliver. I’ll always arrive with a hunger. As I overheard at one of the presentations, “Once your feet lose contact with the floor, you lose everything.”

My feet may have briefly floated off the ground this last weekend but I attribute it to vibrating at a higher frequency. When you absorb the energy of sisterhood, togetherness and betterment for our world, you can only fly high. The message behind this mural says it all: Alas Para Volar (Wings To Fly).




What reminders do you need to help your dreams take flight?

Are You A Confidence Buster?

Do you have a hater living in your head? Have you been writing your own diss track?

Although that pesky critic lives in all of our heads, we have a responsibility to starve it from any attention.

Want to see if you’re a confidence buster? See how many questions you can answer yes to:

1.    Do you try to one-up people when you hear their stories?

2.    Is your knee-jerk reaction a complaint?

3.    Have you been accused of being “stubborn and never changing your ways?”

4.    Is your life so rigid that you avoid family and friends because of possible criticisms?

5.    Do you have a list of dreams that never see past your vision board, Pinterest boards or journal?

6.    Do you talk smack about friends/family/colleagues who are advancing their lives?

A few weeks ago I had a feature about passive aggressive behavior. Inconsistent communication like passive aggression can turn into hater language.

(Read post: Passive Aggressive Behaviors and Relationships: Part 1)

Busting other people’s bubbles is shady and a reflection of where our confidence stands. I admit that at times of low self-esteem it was easier to crack jokes to friends about their plans. It may have appeared in the form of sarcasm or jokes but in hindsight I see that I was a jerk. Humor is a good way to deflect from the fact that our confidence is shoddy.

If our hater language turns inward it can obviously be damaging. When we keep playing the tape of doubts, disses, failures and complaints, it’s no surprise that our goals don’t see the light of day. Are you going through the motions in public like you have plans on the table? You’re less likely to lie to others if you stop lying to yourself. It’s okay if you don’t know what your next move is. Many of us reach out to mentors, bosses, colleagues, our elders or social media groups for answers. One of my favorite quotes is, “We have not, because we ask not.”

What do you need to ask for?

Is stubbornness your biggest barrier? Stubbornness and rigidity truly have little value. News alert: life isn’t measured so precisely. In fact, being able to navigate twists and turns in life requires a bit of spontaneity. Parents could nod their heads in agreement about this fact right?

Rigidity leads us to feeling more paranoid about making the easiest choices. Making decisions is like working a muscle. Our decision making muscle becomes stronger when we use it more often than a spare tire. Making good and bad choices can come natural and we’re used to little setbacks or minor criticisms like “Damn, that was stupid.” These minor criticisms brush off our backs and don’t even count in the grand scheme of screw ups!

(Read post: Is Control Making You Too Rigid?)

As I set out to make major leaps in my writing business I have to starve my criticisms. Something new is never easy. I can’t be “that guy” that asks for help and then cringes because “eww that sounds hard.” Elizabeth Gilbert describes this struggle in “Big Magic.” She says that when we complain about our next move, we offend our blessings. Complaints scare our blessings away. Click To Tweet She admits that she verbally told the Universe that she enjoyed her creativity and her work. This is the perfect way to starve doubt! Feed your blessings instead!

My tip:

·        Listen to your inner and outer chatter. Silence the complaints.

·        Is that sarcasm hiding your doubts? Stop it. That type of sarcasm is annoying.

·        Is your rigidity telling the Universe you’re not ready for your dreams? Open the door to your blessings instead of scaring it away.

Be bold, live out loud, exercise that decision making muscle and starve that hater! Tell ’em I sent you!

How will you silence that confidence buster in your head?

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