The Focus On You

*Self-Care & Lifestyle Blog*

Author: thefocusonyou (page 1 of 65)

How My 2017 Highlight Reel Shocked Me

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The power of writing things down is amazing.

It’s amazing that a few simple questions about my highlights and patterns for the year shocked the hell out of me.

I shouldn’t be surprised though since I require my clients to write down goals and questions during therapy sessions.

I downloaded a worksheet from Danielle LaPorte’s newsletter that focused on this year’s retrospective. I listed my highlights and fulfilling events for the year and the patterns I saw in this list. What is obvious and what was omitted?

Without going into too much detail I can say that I had a blessed highlight reel. The majority of events that fulfilled me included trips with my husband, being with friends and taking adventures.

So what’s shocking about that?

Here are the lessons I learned:

1. The amount of time I spend each day at work or online didn’t really matter. My highlight reel didn’t include binge watching shows, being at work, attending work conferences, personal growth, live tweets or number of Instagram followers.

2. I didn’t include local events or gatherings. Hanging out with family, barbecues, watching sports or visiting the Strip didn’t make the list. What’s funny is that these aren’t in my camera roll either. I started cleaning out my camera roll in my phone and it’s 50% doggie pictures and 50% pictures of vacations. (I attribute this to being more mindful and tech free when hanging out with family)

3. The people that matter the most (parents, my pups, family) and the support you rely on may be forgotten in our highlight reel. A highlight reel is different than a gratitude list. But it makes me wonder…..do those lists ever look the same?

4. If you had a business-related WIN, this may end up on your highlight reel. But what if you didn’t? Would you still give yourself credit for being a trailblazer? Are you still an exceptional employee without the award? I didn’t win any awards this year so does this mean I had a terrible business year?

5. What happens if this year was full of loss? If you lost your home, job or loved one do you still count the fun vacation you took?

Let’s circle back to my comment about time spent online, I have to be present on social media to keep the blog alive but in a macro perspective it seems like wasted time. Being aware of social issues is important to me but how can I trim out some of that time online if it’s not “evolving” me in the long run?

Mind you, I have to work to survive and to afford vacations (which obviously are my priority) but it’s sad and interesting to look at the effect of time.

Danielle says that her micro perspective is: “We deserve to be lit up by what we do in the world. It’s your life.”

My wish for you for 2018 is to find ways to thrive. Find what lights you up, even if it's something that you do only a few times a year Click To Tweet. I’m blessed that my yearly retrospect didn’t include survival. I’ve had those years of struggle and I work harder now to prepare for that (hello 2008). Yet the everyday struggle can feel like surviving and not THRIVING. Commutes, emails, grouchy colleagues or clients, no breaks in your schedule and being broke, can damage our spirit.

No matter what we do to survive, make sure there’s room to thrive, to have joy, to reward yourself, to share your joys with loved ones and get a change of scenery every now and then.

Check out Danielle LaPorte’s highly recommended planner. Get 2018 off on the right foot by documenting your WINS!

 

 

 

15 Petty Affirmations To Uplift Your Soul

Is anyone a fan of petty Tweets or Instagram posts like me?

Sometimes my crazy sense of humor can lighten my mood or distract me from the heaviness of life.

I recently saw a trend on Twitter where people respond to silly statements by saying, “First of all….” In all seriousness, did you know that you can twist petty statements into self-affirming mantras?

It’s easy to have a snappy comeback or to insult ourselves in our head, but why aren’t positive affirmations just as easy?

I compiled a list of petty and non-traditional affirmations to add to your journal, share with your fellow petty friends and to remind yourself that despite our flaws, we’re all worthy deep down inside.

  1. Even though I should be arrested for these messy ass eyebrows, I am worthy of love and attention.
  2. Even though my anxiety keeps me from having fun with my friends, I forgive myself for listening to my needs first.
  3. Although I feel ashamed that I don’t fit into my clothes like I used to, I accept myself as being more than a dress size or pant size.
  4. In spite of the fact that I feel stupid bringing up small talk with strangers, I know I deserve to be where I am today and am proud of myself for going outside of my comfort zone.
  5. Even though I hate feeling lonely, I acknowledge my poor boundaries and maintain a healthy circle of supporters.
  6. Even though my house is a hot mess, I forgive myself for getting off track and am grateful for the comfort of a messy home.
  7. I accept the range of emotions that brew inside me and channel them in healthy ways.
  8. Despite the fact that I am financially irresponsible, I completely forgive myself for the false expectations that I place on money.
  9. In spite of the fact that I didn’t meet my goals, I admit my faults and understand that loving myself is more motivating than shaming myself into isolation.
  10. I notice that I complain too much on social media but today I choose to be hopeful and optimistic. Click To Tweet
  11. I admit that I need to stop shaming others online and change my conversation to more life-affirming and uplifting commentary.
  12. Even though my racing thoughts are terrifying and unsettling, I embrace the peace that sleep brings me every night.
  13. I admit that I act too extra and remind myself that quiet confidence is sexy too.
  14. Despite the fact that I procrastinate, I forgive myself for hiding from the world how badass my dreams are.
  15. It may seem like I’m settling for this life but I believe in my ability to unlock this procrastination and set myself free.

If you are familiar with  the therapeutic technique called Tapping (or EFT),  critical self-talk can be challenged using  the Tapping method. When people verbalize what their inner critic is saying, it sounds kinda crazy! Trust me, I’ve used tapping to deconstruct ugly messages in my head and it’s helped!

Acceptance theory also teaches clients with social anxieties to break down the power behind self-talk. I have worked with clients who healed from social anxiety and later realized how irrational their previous fears were.

Whether you use these petty statements out loud or keep them to yourself, remember that staying hopeful, optimistic and having a sense of humor can only help you in the long run!

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