The Focus On You

*Self-Care & Lifestyle Blog*

Why Your Mindset Matters More Than Your Goals

As we prepare for a new year with goals, resolutions (ugh), vision boards, new planners and a bucket list, I think about how all these “goals” can be short sighted.

You know I’m never the one to crap on anyone’s dream but I want you to shift your perspective and possibly aim higher. Let’s face it, 2017 was a year of dramatic change, shifts and WTH moments. I truly feel that who we ARE needs to aim higher than what we want to DO. Click To Tweet

Let’s start off by breaking down the word “goal.”

A goal is the object of a person’s ambition. A goal should be committed to a person’s particular needs. If your goal is to lose weight I’m guessing that your “need” is to improve your health. As a college student my goal was to finish school so I could make more money in the future.

With any goal, you examine your HOW’s and WHAT’s. HOW will I reach this goal? WHAT do I need to do to make this happen?

I’m asking you to examine your mindset or the WHO. Who do I need to be in order to make this goal happen? Do I need to be motivated, patient or more extroverted (if you’re moving past comfort zones)?

Furthermore, how is this goal going to change who I am? Am I ready for the personal changes that may take place? When I first started this blog I didn’t imagine how much my mindset would change. I see business differently, learned more about the benefits of social media, exercised creative muscles I never knew I had (podcasting, public speaking) and networked with professionals. I can’t believe how much I have grown since I started blogging.

All of the goals I’ve achieved changed who I am. Undergrad. Grad school. Building my therapy career. Becoming a writer and blogger. If I didn’t like who I became after meeting these goals, how would that screw up my mindset for future goals? I’d never dream again.

Aside from viewing my own personal bubble I am taking the world view into perspective before planning for 2018. This year’s “power word” was bravery. Last year I knew that my goal was to strengthen my personal foundation and headspace while making dreams come true. I got distracted by world events this year and I lost focus. I put my energy into “BEING brave” and was unable to get things DONE.

(Read my post for a list of “power words.”)

For 2018 I am attaching BEING and DOING so I can stay aligned. For this reason, my “power word” is ALIGNMENT. A friend kept mentioning this word on social media and it stuck. I kept seeing this word pop up and like a soothing scent, it lingered.

My mindset has to be aligned with what I’m doing whether I’m walking the dog or working extra hours to achieve this new therapy license. With a shaky economy I realize that I need to keep building my resume and will be working on a new therapy license. Mindfulness and self-care will be paramount to my success (and sanity) in 2018.

My wish for my readers before the year ends? I hope you go for all your dreams and that it’s aligned with your needs, the best life for your future and who you want to be. Here’s to being focused and aligned in 2018!

P.S. If you’re a VIP newsletter subscriber, I’ll break down some more tools to help you visualize your goals for the coming year! Stay tuned!

How My 2017 Highlight Reel Shocked Me

This post contains affiliate links.

The power of writing things down is amazing.

It’s amazing that a few simple questions about my highlights and patterns for the year shocked the hell out of me.

I shouldn’t be surprised though since I require my clients to write down goals and questions during therapy sessions.

I downloaded a worksheet from Danielle LaPorte’s newsletter that focused on this year’s retrospective. I listed my highlights and fulfilling events for the year and the patterns I saw in this list. What is obvious and what was omitted?

Without going into too much detail I can say that I had a blessed highlight reel. The majority of events that fulfilled me included trips with my husband, being with friends and taking adventures.

So what’s shocking about that?

Here are the lessons I learned:

1. The amount of time I spend each day at work or online didn’t really matter. My highlight reel didn’t include binge watching shows, being at work, attending work conferences, personal growth, live tweets or number of Instagram followers.

2. I didn’t include local events or gatherings. Hanging out with family, barbecues, watching sports or visiting the Strip didn’t make the list. What’s funny is that these aren’t in my camera roll either. I started cleaning out my camera roll in my phone and it’s 50% doggie pictures and 50% pictures of vacations. (I attribute this to being more mindful and tech free when hanging out with family)

3. The people that matter the most (parents, my pups, family) and the support you rely on may be forgotten in our highlight reel. A highlight reel is different than a gratitude list. But it makes me wonder…..do those lists ever look the same?

4. If you had a business-related WIN, this may end up on your highlight reel. But what if you didn’t? Would you still give yourself credit for being a trailblazer? Are you still an exceptional employee without the award? I didn’t win any awards this year so does this mean I had a terrible business year?

5. What happens if this year was full of loss? If you lost your home, job or loved one do you still count the fun vacation you took?

Let’s circle back to my comment about time spent online, I have to be present on social media to keep the blog alive but in a macro perspective it seems like wasted time. Being aware of social issues is important to me but how can I trim out some of that time online if it’s not “evolving” me in the long run?

Mind you, I have to work to survive and to afford vacations (which obviously are my priority) but it’s sad and interesting to look at the effect of time.

Danielle says that her micro perspective is: “We deserve to be lit up by what we do in the world. It’s your life.”

My wish for you for 2018 is to find ways to thrive. Find what lights you up, even if it's something that you do only a few times a year Click To Tweet. I’m blessed that my yearly retrospect didn’t include survival. I’ve had those years of struggle and I work harder now to prepare for that (hello 2008). Yet the everyday struggle can feel like surviving and not THRIVING. Commutes, emails, grouchy colleagues or clients, no breaks in your schedule and being broke, can damage our spirit.

No matter what we do to survive, make sure there’s room to thrive, to have joy, to reward yourself, to share your joys with loved ones and get a change of scenery every now and then.

Check out Danielle LaPorte’s highly recommended planner. Get 2018 off on the right foot by documenting your WINS!

 

 

 

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